T H E F R I E N D Z O N E
AND HOW TO GET OUT
By: Richard Veltri
Pure and simple and I'd like to be up front about this: you're life is not a romantic comedy. She will not wake up one day realizing you're the one that's always been there for her. She won't run to the door to tell you only to open it and have you standing there with a bouquet of flowers. And you definitely won't embrace her as she almost tearfully tells you,”it's been you all along.” ...So get that image out of your head.
Short of you saving her life and a puppy's life while simultaneously holding a single rose in your mouth - she's not going to have a sudden change of heart.
That's not the way feelings and attraction work.
What you need to do is get out.
If you've asked them out, and she'd already said no but that you can “still be friends” - that's your time to leave.
Do not continue to hang out with them and do not keep chatting with them day-in-and-day-out because the “we can be friends” is a lie. You can't.
What you have at that point is not a friendship.
It's like you've been rejected for a job, but the HR rep came over to you after and said, “Do you mind still hanging out here in the lobby anyway so we have someone around to complain to about the guy we actually end up hiring?” Let's face it, you don't want to be that guy, you don't want to sit by and be the shoulder to cry on about how "If she could only find a good guy..."
Back to the original point now, get out. Not in a bad way, but cut them out. You've explored whether the option for romance is there and it's not, so move on. Don't sit there pining about how perfect you two are for each other because, guess what? Even if she is perfect there are literally millions more like her and one of them is bound to be into you the same way. What you need to do is go out and work on you. Don't run your life based on trying to be with that person that isn't going to work, and don't run your life looking for someone else to make it whole. Explore your own interests, be your own person, and, eventually, you'll find someone that really does fit.
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