How close have you come to cheating without actually going through with it? 

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Written by: Laura C. Anderson |

Dating is awesome. Marriage, that's even more awesome. You want to know what's 100% definitely not awesome? Finding another person sexually attractive who's not your partner and wishing on some small ~*or large*~ scale you could do something about it. 

We've all been there; seen that hot girl at the check out counter who's nose ring and perky tits are sending all the blood to the wrong head; the guy in a suit at the grocery store mulling over which beer he'll be enjoying with dinner; the girl you work with who's always a little too flirty but you love the attention thus the banter continues; the guy who's friends with one of your friends and makes appearances at group outings after you've had just enough alcohol to let inappropriate thoughts cloud your judgment. 

Bottom line, it's inevitable and you're not a shitty person for wishing monogamy wasn't coded into society's main hard-drive. Temptation is alive and well in this day and age - social media making it even easier to give into. 

So where exactly is the line in the sand drawn? Does flirty banter count as cheating? Does "going out for drinks after work" count? What if you're having sex with your partner and the other person you can't help but fantasize over interrupts your thoughts? 

The question is; when does innocent attraction become a futile action you can never take back? And just how close have men or women come to cheating without crossing that dark line altogether? These brave souls divulge below: 

Derek, 50
“So, there’s this really hot red-head at my office. I typically don’t find gingers attractive but this one; we’ll call her Maggie, she just does it for me. Truthfully, I’ve been flirting with her for months but I don’t think I made the importance of my marriage clear enough because one day while working late, she swung my chair around, got on her knees, and went to undo my pants. I knew what was coming next and as badly as I wanted it I knew the repercussions would be so much worse. I knew right then and there I needed to make it clear we were only colleagues. I told my wife when I got home and she was mad, but – to put it in hindsight, we’re still together.
Something not too many men can say who’ve actually gone through with the dirty deed.”

Debbie, 43
"My son's soccer coach asked me out on a date even though he knew I was married. I'd go to the practices and get excited to see him. I, regretfully, went on the date and when it was time for us to head to our cars he went in to kiss me and I just couldn't get myself to let him. The guilt of the date alone ate at me for months until finally I told my husband. We went to therapy and it was there I learned he’s thought about other women in that way as well. Knowing we were both guilty of the same biological crime made me feel so much better. Today we’re the strongest we’ve ever been.”

Lacey, 27

“I had just moved across the country to live with my girlfriend. We were together 24/7 and one weekend she left with her girlfriends for a hiking trip. I ended up going to a secluded park area to meet this girl I had met from work. We kissed and I had every opportunity to bring her back to the house but I just couldn't do it. I never told my girlfriend but we didn’t work out in the long run anyways. Guess a part of me knew it never would anyways…”

Isaac, 35
“I walked into my room and on my bed were three insanely hot naked women on vacation from Amsterdam, each one had always wanted to fuck an American guy. My buddies set this up for me as my Bachelor party present, though it seemed the women did the unwrapping for me. My friends claimed this was my last shot at a kinky fantasy coming true having three bombshell European women ready for the taking but I couldn't get myself to join them. I was excited to marry my now wife and I didn't want to fuck it up. But boy did I consider it. I think I deserve an award for self-control.”

Jenna, 44
“Let me paint a little picture for you. Here I am, naked on top of my husband's best friend, his tip is about to enter me, and my boobs are smack-dab against his chest when I realize I’m about to make a huge mistake. How does one backtrack out of situation like that? Not without a shit-ton of emotional scars to show for it. I was so embarrassed. So I completely kill the moment, slide out from under his body, push his chest off me, and begin getting dressed. Of course, this does not sit well with Mr. “Best Friend” and he ends up telling my husband. I deserved it. After a very rocky few months, we were finally able to move past my almost-infidelity. Needless to say we no longer speak with his former-best friend.”


Patrick, 30
“I was on a business trip when the bartender at the resort I was staying at asked to join me in my suite later that evening. My girlfriend and I had only been dating five months at the time and, yeah, we were serious, but did I see myself marrying her? I didn’t know. So I said yes and gave her my room number. She told me her shift ended at 11 PM so she’d come find me when she was off the clock. It was in the elevator on my way up to my room I received a text from my girlfriend. She wrote out the sweetest message telling me how much she loves me and how lucky she feels to be with me. I swear you women have this sick intuition. I immediately called down to the bar and told Kelly I was sorry but that I had a lapse in judgment.”

Laura C. Anderson | @s0mebl0nde