Lately my girl friends as well as my guy friends have been discussing hair, pubic hair to be exact. It dawned on me after hearing enough viewpoints that the majority of people have incredibly distinctive and opposing preferences when it comes to this controversial topic.
Is there such a thing as too much hair on a woman? How about a guy? Some men prefer their women au natural; others cringe at the sight of untamed nether regions. And while some women are guilty of wanting their fair share of hair, others are completely turned off at the thought of a bush where bare skin should be.
At the end of the day everyone you meet will have a different preference when it comes to hair and what they find hot or not. At the very least, I took it upon myself to label the different hair levels on both men and women according to personal interest.
1. The Slip N’ Slide
Also known as the naked mole rat or hairless beaver.
2. Stubble Trouble
Maybe it’s been a week, maybe two, but either way shit was not waxed or shaved last night.
3. Everything But The Kitchen Sink.
Bring your plumbing tool(s) cause things may get a little hairy down there.
4. Airport Hair.
Just the landing strip. Will you ride into her terminal?
5. The Bushier The Better
It’s like a time hop back to the 70’s.
1. The Lumber-sexual
Not quite pubic in nature but often associated with man buns and thick, Alaskan-looking beards. This is what separates the boys from the men when it comes to No-Shave-November.
Hair. Everywhere. In every nook and cranny. We’re talking chest, back, legs, arms, underarms, butthole, face, etc. Get ready to get lost in that jungle.
3. The Middle Schooler
Equivalent to the Slip N’ Slide for women. Proceed with caution: some women may question whether or not you’ve hit puberty.
4. Baby Got Back
For whatever reason he only seems to grow hair on his back, which, in turn, creeps like a reverse Indian trail down his butthole.
5. The Austin Powers
Chest hair for days. We’re talking nipples lost in an abyss of curly Q’s.
6. The Prickly Pear
Not quite bare, not quite bush. Most women are familiar with associated feelings of rug burn after enough…friction.
LAURA C. ANDERSON | @s0mebl0nde
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