READY, SET, SQUIRT


Let’s talk about female ejaculation in the form of squirting, shall we?


By: Laura C. Anderson


So we’ve all heard the term “squirting” before. Most of us are aware it’s the liquid that sprays, quite literally, out of a woman’s vagina during intercourse. And most of us have also probably looked it up under Urban Dictionary just to uncover it’s a “woman’s ability to produce vast amounts of love juice during orgasm.” But let’s be real, this description leaves us with more questions than it does answers. So I went around and asked men to weigh in on the questions they need answers to when it comes to the unicorn of female pleasure that is the ‘Squirt.’

How can I get her to do it?

If her G-spot is stimulated enough times while you’re taking her to Pound Town that liquid we identify as squirt will build up and eventually release during her orgasm.

So, technically every woman is capable of squirting?

Squirting is categorized under female orgasm so as long as she is capable of orgasm it would seem she is also capable of squirting. Though, many sex researches debunk that truth and argue that not every woman is capable of such a dramatic feat.

What is it though – like – what’s happening down there?

I think of it as a giant release – when she feels comfortable with you she is able to completely release both mentally and physically. Most of the time women are too wrapped up in their own heads during sex to truly enjoy it for what it is. Luckily for you men, both your heads can’t operate at the same time (I’m drawing from personal experience here) and we all know which one is turned off and which one is turned on.  

What does it feel like for her?

Abso-fucking-lutely fantastic.

Does that mean if she’s not squirting the sex wasn’t that great?

Of course not, an orgasm is an orgasm. Of course, there are technically different levels of orgasm, but it’s not to say a session of sex without making her squirt was a total fail. Like I said, it all depends on how frequently and fervently you stimulated her G-spot. Some women report being able to squirt once her G-spot AND clitoris was being pleasured at the same time.

So squirting isn’t just some myth?

Nope, it’s real, and it’s awesome.

I thought squirting only existed in porn?

It’s no surprise the porn industry would want women to star in their films with the reoccurring ability to squirt during orgasm for the theatrical nature of it all. I mean, what man’s ego isn’t immediately boosted after thinking his dick is so powerful that his partner just lost a gallon of her weight in fluids? I’m kidding; it’s more like a pint. But seriously, it’s pretty hot and unlike a traditional orgasm, it’s impossible to fake.

And it’s definitely NOT pee, right?

The jury is still out on whether or not squirt is in fact pee, or some foreign sweet liquid no one can quite identify. All we know for certain (sort of?) is that it tastes sweeter than pee (hoping the ratio of men who have tasted squirt is much higher than the ratio of men who have tasted pee) and it dispels from the urethra gland.

How will I know it happened?

Have you ever taken a running faucet or hose and wedged your thumb over a portion of the opening just to watch the water splatter and spit all over the place like an angry sprinkler? Well if that same phenomenon seems to be taking place down yonder, just know that your dick is the thumb in this situation.

All questions and concerns aside, the reality of squirting is that it’s often just as surprising for the woman as it is for the man when it happens. Some women are aware of their magical squirting powers, while others are experiencing it for the first time themselves. Below is basically what’s going on in his mind and what’s going on in her mind when the couple experiences squirting for the first time…

 

Shit, this feels amazing, I hope she’s almost done cause I can’t hold it much longer

I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, ohmygod I’m gonna cum

Wow I’ve never seen her make that face before

Finishes*

Who just sprayed my dick with a hose?

Holy shit balls that felt amazing

Wait, I think…did she just…

I can’t feel my body.

YES. SHE DID. SHE SQUIRTED. HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL.

Wait, yes I can, I’m all wet. Why is everything all wet?

Does she know she just did that?! Why didn’t she tell me?

Why does it look like a sprinkler went off all over his sheets?

Whatever. This is awesome. I’m telling all my friends I made her squirt.

WAS THAT FROM ME?

I am the man.

Crap, did I just pee on him?

My penis is the almighty warrior and I am the man.

It doesn’t smell like pee…

That was so hot. Let’s do it again.

He doesn't seem to notice; maybe I’ll just pretend I don’t either.

Shrugs it off like it was nothing*

Giggles*

 


Feel free to check out this awesome video below where actual porn stars weigh in on the great debate that is, “Is squirt pee?”

Thanks for reading and happy squirting! 


Laura C. Anderson | @s0mebl0nde


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