By: Laura C. Anderson
1. LATE NIGHT. Unfamiliar with this portion of the site? There’s an entire section titled Late Night where the shows are exactly what you’d expect to find on T.V. when it’s hours past midnight yet still hours before the morning news. Think of the quality television that accompanies 3 a.m. timeslots. I’m sorry but does Netflix or Hulu have an entire genre dedicated to porn? Okay, so it’s not PornHub style porn but it’s close enough and it’s awesome. Last time I checked the closest you could get to steamy sex scenes on Netflix was fast-forwarding a Grey’s Anatomy episode to a scene where two doctors get halfway undressed in a supply closet right before the camera pans away. Not even a nip slip. Sigh. That being said, I recommend the shows, The Best Sex, or Bikini Model Mayhem.
2. Real Sex. This series is awesome because it’s an adults-only magazine, which explores the ever-changing face of sex in our world. The episodes uncover the fun and unusual sexual practices of real people and trust me; once you get a taste you’ll be hooked. It also opens the doorway to discussing the topics that aren’t always easy to bring up on a date.
3. Sex On. This series will capture your attention right away since each episode opens in on at least 20 different small screens of people masturbating. Think Brady Bunch style but instead of the picture perfect family in each slot, it’s a hot girl or guy getting off. If this doesn’t set the tone for the series I don’t know what will. Each episode focuses on a particular fetish, so it’s both educating and entertaining. Disclaimer: It leaves little to the imagination.
4. Roommates. This series focuses on four sexy Latina roommates exploring their sexual desires and fantasies one episode at a time. There’s an episode titled, “Pleasure journey,” which is basically just scenes of hyper-realistic porn guaranteed to get you hard or wet. The entire series is in Spanish (don’t worry, there’s subtitles) leaving us to believe Europeans are much more clued into what makes for solid entertainment and undeniable arousal.
5. There’s nudity. Heavy nudity. HBO is known for its graphic content. Almost every episode from any series will warn you with those little icons letting you know there will be A) Adult language, B) Strong sexual content, C) Adult content, D) Nudity, and E) violence. AKA: “There’s going to be a lot of naked people fucking with angry, wild passion. Enjoy.” The nudity is hot. It’s the type of on-screen nudity where you know it had to be awkward as hell filming the scene but you’re oh so glad they did.
6. The sex scenes are actually hot. Whether you’re sucked into watching a season of Girls with your girlfriend or embarking on the mythical world that is the Game of Thrones, I can promise you a solid fill of doggy-style, blowjobs, orgies, car-sex, wildly inappropriate sex, and my personal favorite – vampire sex (True Blood fans, where you at?).
7. The documentaries are pretty dope. I recently watched a documentary called Americans in Bed. It literally centered on American couples lying in bed talking about topical subjects like sex and relationships. No, I was not sober while making the choice to watch all 90-whatever minutes of the documentary but it was still amusing as hell. Granted if you’re a first-timer I’d go for the much more popular, Beyonce & Jay Z’s On The Run Tour, but maybe you like the weirder shit, too.
My point being there’s a documentary to peak anyone’s fascination. From the evolution of drug trading, to specials on African animals, or even profiles and biographies of famous athletes, celebrities, and survivors of our country’s major headliners – it is impossible to scroll through the entire list without at least one title jumping out at you.
8. There are way less movie choices. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a wide variety to choose from, but nowhere near the exhausting amount offered by Netflix. Let’s talk about how insanely frustrating it is to get together with your partner or potential guy/girlfriend just to spend the initial 25 minutes of the date trying to pick a damn movie. You’re both acting coy and cute like you don’t care but really – you care. Yeah, it’s true you’ll probably only catch the end-credits of anything you choose anyways, but that’s still a solid portion of your night lost to what could have been avoided had you just chosen HBO GO.
9. The movies they do offer are absolute classics. You have the option to watch films like The Sandlot, American Pie, Beerfest, Borat, and Home Alone. It’s awesome because not only are there numerous classics, there’s also a substantial amount of films that were recently in theaters. It’s kind of like your own personal Redbox.
10. The series are addicting AF. Whether you’re a Game Of Thrones addict or a fan of Entourage or True Blood, you know I’m right when I say the seasons keep getting juicier than the last. Plus, how hot is it to start a series with someone you like? Not only does it continually give you an excuse to hang out, it also gives you something to obsess over. Because you will obsess over them. Everyone does.
Laura C. Anderson | @s0mebl0nde
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