By: Laura C. Anderson
For those of you unfamiliar with the term, ‘going ghost,’ allow me to break it down for you…
Have you ever been talking to/seeing someone thinking things were going peachy just to wake up the next day without so much as a text hello? And of course you reach out to him or her cause you’re all, hey, what’s going on, you’ve usually contacted me by now? Just to then receive digital tumbleweed?
If you can relate to that then you, my friend, have been ghosted. Meaning, the person who was showing interest in you two seconds ago has now endured major brain damage resulting in amnesia and has no idea who you are. Or at least I’m pretty sure that’s what he or she wishes you’d hypothesize. The reality being he or she lost interest and is just not that into you - so much so that you aren’t even worth the conversation letting you know it’s over. It just is and there’s nothing you can do but replay the last conversation you two had in your head about a million times until you finally give up, order a pizza, put your fat-pants on, and call it a day.
We’ve all been the victims and admittedly we’re probably guilty of doing it to someone a time or two ourselves. Either way, we can’t help but relate to the following experiences.
Cue YG’s Toot it and Boot it. Sounds like a classic one-night stand. I’m sorry, you’ve been severely misled and I wouldn’t judge you for pounding back an entire bottle of Merlot while chanting Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball. Back to Tinder.
Ugh, literally the worst. This happens a ridiculously unfortunate amount in life. I swear men and women get so freaked out when things start to get serious or consistent. It’s like, chill, it was just nice having someone I could stuff my face with before having the sex we worked weeks at perfecting so we’d both finish.
One minute you’re getting ready to change your Facebook status to, “In a relationship” and the next thing you know it becomes, “Started wearing less and going out more.” Would it kill you to just speak out about your feelings and where you’re at with our relationship, or, lack thereof?
Ouch. Maybe gammy wasn’t the biggest fan of your tattoos? Or perhaps you didn’t quite mesh with Aunt Theresa’s radical Republican views on the primaries? Either way, the family has spoken.
Which, as we all know, is code for, “Phew, glad I dodged that bullet. I really didn’t want to have to buy you a present.”
Damn. Safe to say he got a glimpse of the future and he did not see you in it. Let’s just hope it wasn’t one of those, “bro, I bet you (x amount) you can’t make it last a year,” type deals.
If the homegirl has you wondering whether or not she was even real then you, sir, have truly taken the term, “ghosted” to a whole new and quite literal level.
Laura C. Anderson | @s0mebl0nde
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